Light Is Coming!!! The Light Is Coming!!!
Greetings of the Julian New Year to you. Never let it be said that surprising
realizations dont come out of the darkness of earnest wondering.
It is the morning of November 8th as I sit here putting together some
realizations that have just sprung to the surface of awareness at a
new depth and fullness. These realizations bring a contemplative peace
and an ability to step back in a rather wide-eyed amazement and amusement.
Sometimes thats not easy for me when Im struggling. Im
sure its not easy for anyone.
my realizations. There is an uneasy connectedness between victim/hero;
codependence/respectful helpfulness; war/peace; demanding/asking permission;
denigration/acknowledgment; enmeshment/interconnectedness. Quite a little
gallery of participants wouldnt you say? I have a sense of a wildly
swinging pendulum, the movement of life, that often knocks me in the
heart and the head before I see it coming. When I can stand in a more
centered place of respectful self-observation I can see the movement
of power/powerlessness, love/rage; the movement of a respectful connectedness
that acknowledges boundaries and integrity vs. an unconscious disconnectedness
that defies boundaries and integrity. I can see the joyful, engaging
acknowledgment of presence vs. the despairing, raging, loneliness of
a disconnectedness. To say the very least this is a wide range of human
experience; a wide range of possibility.
I see this
wide range of human experience and possibility expressed in some rivetingly
important places: our attitude toward domestic violence, human rights,
poverty in third world countries, insanity, mortality. I saw an example
last night where a young man was judged by a jury to be aware of what
he had done and yet legally insane. In my opinion, we use that kind
of judgment to protect ourselves from our own capacity for violence.
We are afraid of our violence so we say that someone must be insane
to do something horrible rather than to realize that we are capable
of willfully doing something horrible. To say the very least I dont
think its helpful to deny our energetic possibilities. In order
to be truly alive and human I must look squarely at the wide range of
possibility that defines who I am. I must realize that poverty and violence
are more than physical; more than some distant reality for somebody
else! If I deny my mortality how can I possibly embrace love and peace?
How can I possibly embrace somebody elses struggle?
arent just hypothetical to me! These questions define the very
energetic framework of my existence. They define my ability to stay
present in the moment. They define my ability to look someone squarely
in the face and speak to them in the heat of the moment; whether that
heat is defined as love or war. They define my ability to stay centered
in the face of gripping fear and realize that fear is not just in the
face of someone else; it is in my face and heart as well. My humanity
rests in my ability to embrace this wide range of experience and possibility.
My humanity rests in my ability to call this ever-present pendulum by
its proper name: abiding, expansive Love!!!
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