It's March! Time once again to celebrate one of my favorite days~Spring Equinox: equal night~equal day: the symbol of balance in our physical Universe. The importance of balance has never been clearer to me! I have been in such a tangle of emotions for weeks. The Awareness I heard today said, "The Flow wasn't interrupted because the outer changed. The Flow was interrupted because I disconnected." This Understanding is a perfect example of the Unitive Principle that is the very Essence of my Life! I have been sharing with you lately my learnings about the meaning of "getting my own way." Here's what leaped out at me today: Very simply: I want to be loved and appreciated. Believe it or not it's taken me weeks to sort through the cascade of painful emotions to come to this simple Truth once again. Yet again I know Love comes from only one place: Inside me! Whatever I see on the outside is only a reflection of what I'm already doing, being, offering! I must be at some kind of new level of learning because I know I love myself and yet the stuff going on is so painful. Relationship is sure the epitome of the agony and the ecstasy of Life! In every way possible I'm questioning what is Love really? The spiritual nature of Love is: Presence! Ecstasy! Quiet! Stillness! Rapturous Joy! Flow! Light Energy! How about that for a bunch of seemingly opposite states of being? I somehow know they're not opposites but I don't have words for that right now. I just know I've been to some kind of new hell lately and I'm uncomfortable. I know somehow I'm being pulled (invited?) kicking and screaming toward a new level of unconditional Love and Trust! I understand that means that new levels of unprotectedness are being called into being and the scared, hurting parts of me are saying, "Surely you jest!!!" I'm being asked from within to drop expectations and live from Expectancy. I wrote that lesson from a place of great pain and I'm still making my way through it now. I still know it's the Higher Ground of Love I want to live from each and every moment! I'm not interested in "less than" living! I'm here for the real deal and I know what It feels like!!!
The understanding of what is happening is unfolding right before my eyes and ears. Twice recently in completely separate conversations "the culture of fear" has been the topic. My whole life has been dedicated to promoting, activating and living from the culture of Love. I know many millions share this purpose with me. I equally know others intentionally cultivate the culture of fear because they're so gripped by fear and it's calling card--- self-hatred! Like I said last month, "It's 2009, people! What are you doing?" It's agonizing to me to watch people promote hatred. I'm doing everything I know to do to live from Love. I am reminded of the powerful Truth: Love has no opposite! I understand that Truth. Love is an all-encompassing Presence; a flowing Resonance of unmatched Beauty. That's the very core of our beingness! Life calls us out and into that beingness every moment. Sometimes we're so asleep we just don't get the message. Consciousness is: Presence! Love! Peace! I AM Consciousness is the archetype of Wholeness. Holy, whole, and healing all have the same root word. This is our individual and collective 21st century work: Awaken to our Wholeness! In the light of this healing work I want to acknowledge Dr. Scott Eberle, the medical director of Hospice of Petaluma. See his website, http://www.schooloflostborders.org, for more info. Holy cow, I just went there myself and WOW ...... how impressive. A quote that immediately came to mind is "die daily to the moment." I immediately recognized how attached I am to so many things! That's where pain comes into being. Nothing causes pain like attachments. Amazingly it occurs to me that attachments are very different than relationships. It's a HUGE mistake to think that those two words are the same process. They are not! I'm on a steep learning curve there. I have to invoke my nannygoat persona.
It's just one day later. A HUGE understanding came through me today. I truly do know that no matter what is happening I will never sabotage my well-being just because I'm in pain and don't understand what is happening. It occurred to me at a brand new level today what Faith is: Keep going even when there is no evidence that you have what you want. That's an incredible statement. Yesterday I didn't know I was this close to that awareness. It's proof positive that Clarity is always closer than you think. Just leave the door open. That's what Faith is: the open door to Possibility and Reality. Another realization I had is how very closely related Faith and Forgiveness are. The more Faith, the more Forgiveness. The more Forgiveness, the more Faith. This fateful relationship is no accident! It is fantastically funny that our lesson tomorrow in church is on Forgiveness and the teachings of Dr. Jerry Jampolsky. His whole life has been dedicated to teaching the power of living from Love rather than fear. The timing couldn't be more precious. A huge part of his teaching is the power of Forgiveness. Forgiveness is an unforgettable necessity for a happy thriving Life.
In our Mystery School lesson from Diana's Grove we are working with the story of Atalanta: The Vows We Make--- To Ourselves! I answered my vow at a brand new level by knowing like never before I will never sabotage my well-being! I understand that Faith means I'm not "waiting for things to change and then I'll be better." I am knowing no matter what happens I have what it takes inside me to thrive--- whatever happens! Not just survive, but thrive! We all have that Possibility! We just need the willingness! It's already there waiting to be activated, developed and cherished! That's Empowerment! I know It in my bones! I'm grateful too! Believe me I AM!!!! It is a precious, unforgettable matter of consequence what a difference our attitude makes. That lesson is told and retold through all the body~mind~Spirit holistic healing literature. Attitude truly is a matter of Life and Death. I realize yet again how much I value Generosity. Generosity is absolutely the underpinning of knowing I will never sabotage my well-being. Life is just too special and important to be small minded and closed hearted. I'm not here for that and neither are you! Generosity is another face of Faith, Confidence, Self-Love and Trust.
How very special that as I come back to finish this newsletter I have been blessed in some wondrously beautiful, surprising ways. It's the Universe's answer to what I said: "Leave the door open for Possibility." I had no idea I'd be hearing the blessings I received. I just knew the Possibility is very real. I equally know in this process widen my horizons! See the Whole of Possibility, not the narrowness of expectation! The benefits are HUGE! Proof positive yet again that we are everything we need. Holding to that Faith no matter what brings the Truth into visibility. It's already there in Spirit. Faith brings It into view!! I am so very grateful!!! I feel so much lighter! Blessed Be, Universe! I love You!!!!