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September 2015: Heretics & Heroes: Part IX Of XII

by Cathy Combs


It's mid-afternoon in late June as I'm contemplating our journey toward the Fall Equinox, the celebration of equal night~equal day in Mother Nature's unfolding adventure toward my favorite time of year. Fall in the Midwest is so extraordinarily beautiful with all the bright and beautiful colors. I love this time of year. It's now almost mid-July and until today it's been uncharacteristically cool, even cold, here but today it's blazing hot. I've had some exceedingly powerful and deep realizations about my intensity and Life energy and what it all means and how to use it to my best ability. I'm seeing yet again in unmistakable ways the difference between the inside out Life and the outside in Life. The difference is so dramatically different. The inside out Life is so characterized by Peace and Presence and Joy. The outside in Life is so characterized by edginess and mean-spirited fear and snap negative judgments. Even though I've been on a very meaningful happy spiritual journey for many years I'm amazed at how my judgmentalness can be so slam-bang hard and unkind. My consolation is I can and do quickly say no to staying there and acting on it outwardly. I'm so very grateful for my willingness!!!! I'm unmistakably understanding at deeper and deeper levels my fear-based reactiveness when I am not centered as Presence. I can't help but wonder how my work with Gene Keys is influencing my reactiveness. I feel my walls are coming down even unconsciously and my vulnerability is activated perhaps. I remember a friend's comment to me years ago that I'm an empath and I don't know how to protect myself. I'm very energy sensitive and aware. It makes me intensely angry when others violate my boundaries. It's quite a learning curve when they're oblivious to what they're doing. It's so powerful to sit with the ever upward pull of spiritual unfoldment and come back to Presence!!!

A piece of this puzzle that just came through is that according to the Gene Keys work if someone has key 43 as a prime part of their genetic profile they have absolutely no awareness of the inappropriateness of their actions. This is astonishing to me and yet if it's true then it's up to me to find a way to tell them of their impact and see what response I get. I also have to realize and give myself some credit for knowing that my reaction is an instinctive inborn protective reaction to a perceived threat to my survival. I don't want anyone threatening me and at the same time I want to be sensibly generous and gracious in the moment. That's quite the learning curve too. Being simply aware of the moment is such a vitally important and powerful mode of being. It allows such Beauty, Power and Grace to fill us and emanate from us. I really love and honor that Truth and I do my very best to live in It and from It. I've said many times that Fall is my very favorite season. It's so beautiful with all the changing colors. It's a reflection of the diversity that is our very Nature. I wish humanity understood that Reality! I wish people understood and honored their own intrinsic Beauty and Self Worth!!!! The rainbow is a beautiful symbol of our Wholeness. I love rainbows!!!!! They're so bright and beautiful and hopeful!!!!!!

This contemplative month I also want to honor the women of Malawi. I was reading an article from FINCA that says most of the women there live on $1.25/day. That kind of poverty is astonishing and outrageous and yet these women are so grateful for the small loans ($25.00) they receive to help their businesses. The repayment rate of their loans is over 95%. Women are 80% of the work force there. It's astonishing to realize that 3.4 billion people in the world live on less than $2.50/day!!!!!! That's outrageous!!! That's 40% of the world's population!!!!! The unequal distribution of wealth and resources is such a huge issue in our world today!!!

As we move toward this contemplative time of the year it certainly moves me to be exceedingly grateful for all I AM and all I have. Gratitude is the great multiplier and the feeling is such a HUGE blessing. I'm certainly in the flow of It lately. I had a profound experience some time ago when I was having a really difficult time. I was about to take a 20 minute drive and I decided to give thanks for all my blessings without repeating one. I did that and was overwhelmed by the number of things I felt grateful for and I filled the entire 20 minutes with gratitude blessings. Needless to say that experience changed my entire outlook on what I was experiencing. I love those exercises and intentions. As I continue this profound journey what is uppermost in my heart and mind is how to peacefully navigate the experiences that enrage me and frighten me. I know Unconditional Love is the key and yet I still have trouble moving through some experiences. I'm still enjoying my Life immensely and I know moving through these other moments will be a quantum leap into new Peace. Peace to you fellow travelers as we navigate this sacred awesome journey. I look forward to brand new beginnings!!! As I sit with these feelings a HUGE awakening comes through: Sadness happens when we're hiding from our true Value, our true Power!!! That makes me laugh with recognition. I know the doorway is wide open now. I'm walking through with new eyes, with a new heart as I still revel in the heat of this mid-July reckoning walking toward my beloved Fall Equinox season. Bless you, Mother Nature!!!!!! I love you!!!!! In that playful Spirit of walking I also want to celebrate my 41 year anniversary on September 3rd, the day I threw away my braces. Peace I'm out!!!!!! Wait! One more sharing before I go. I feel like I'm sitting on a HUGE powder keg of Awareness. What else just came through is a real feeling level Understanding of Unconditional Love and I know I'm being called to go there and it scares the hell out of me and yet it makes me smile because it's so big!!! Magnanimity is one of my favorite words and I know now I'm being called to be there, live there, in huge ways. There's no fear there. Only Awakeness: our true Beloved Nature!!! Blessed Be!!! Woweeeee!!!!! I can't be knocked sideways there by anything because I'm such Presence. That's what we're all called to be. Are you willing to take that ride with me? I hope so. Peace I'm out and about in the world I love so much!!!!!!